Illustration Friday: Blue
Early winter before the snow starts falling, when everything is cold and grey, and darkness swallows up the world, always makes me sad.
Today I just can’t seem to shake it. All the giddiness of yesterday, evaporated like the almost-snow in the air. The immenseness of the fact that we moved here just over a half year ago and I’m still grappling with finding the time to find friends makes me feel terribly alone today. It doesn’t help that I’ve been stricken with an unusually fierce bout of procrastination and self doubt.
My writing sits and lurks at me from the screen, like a couple of pickled eyeballs in a jar. It taunts me. I can’t finish a paragraph further than I’ve already gotten. My workshop deadline is next week and I know I won’t be finished.
I hate days like this. Wanting attention, but not to give it. Wanting alone time, but wanting good company even more. Wanting something decisive to happen, but still in limbo with just about everything.
Illustration Friday, The way I operate |25 Responses to “Illustration Friday: Blue”
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Wow, very thought provoking.
This is really very beauitful!
TFS!
R
I like it a lot. Feel the same when days are cold and grey.
The composition, the mood, the textures. Love it.
Come on over for tea! We have a light sprinkling of snow (unusual for here) and lots of toys for a busy baby. I like what you did with the illustration theme — very original and very blue.
i wish that when i had days like these i could relax into it, feel it and bless it…but most of the time i don’t
strange, because i was thinking about similar things today. people always ask on fridays ‘what’s your plan for the weekend?’ and i don’t really have any. i mean, a few tentative ones with a friend from work and a friend from school. But nothing concrete. And sadly, those are really my only two options–i’ve been here almost 5 months and still haven’t really found friends outside of my work circle which really saddens me.
your last paragraph really hit home. I want nothing more than to go home after work, curl up with some soup and a good book, but i so crave some really really good company.
i hope your CA friend helps you shake your blues.
and, relish the gray-ness…it’s the only time we can completely surrender to a comfy couch at 4 in the afternoon without anyone judging us
great take on the illo, well executed & fab composition
Very beautiful and poetic.
Are you in my brain today? Or am I in yours? I feel much the same and can’t figure it out either. Exhilaration evaporation is a sneaky thing.
Perhaps it is the natural letdown of something big and wonderful happening and then the reality of it all settling in? Like after a wedding, or another heavily anticipated event?
Sending you hugs, though, and then leaving you alone with some good hot chocolate and flannel pjs. That always makes things a little more bearable.
Boy no kidding about the gloom lurking around around the blogs the last couple of days…it’s got hold of me too. A strange can’t put a finger on it..not really sad not really happy feeling. I too have yet to make friends and we’ve been here for a year and half. I just can’t seem to find anyone I like and really have a hard time putting effort into looking. I want friends but I want them to come to me. It’s just crazy.
Hang in there Christina. I’ve moved to three different cities since graduating from college and I SO relate to how you feel. It takes a good 1-2 years to really feel like you’re starting to make real friends and not just acquaintances. Let this great blogging community be your support system until you do.
Also, what an analogy–writing on the screen to pickled eyeballs? I JUST LOVE THAT! (grin)
Thank you for your email. It meant alot. I went out tonight and had some real conversation with a couple of good friends, but I still haven’t shaken it. The conversation was alot about helping one of the friends and as much as I felt needed, and wanted, I also felt slightly drained and didn’t really want to be there either. I can’t wrap my head around my motives for blogging and I’ve been moping since I read Beth’s post at Crazy Us (”Is it just me?)” Yesterday I created something beautiful I wanted to share with the entire world. I know alot more people had seen it then who commented, family included. Maybe it was shitty design, maybe it wasn’t the ‘cool cause of the week,’ but it should mean something and I suppose it didn’t, not enough for people to pass it on and shout it out loud. Maybe I didn’t yell loud enough. I just don’t know anymore. Maybe I suck at this and I should stick to being a mom, which lately, I kinda suck at too. Ho hum.
Bloggers make the best therapists though…lol! Thanks for listening if you made it this far!
more friends than you thought! unique art and writings.
Small, lonely and blue! I like your illustration … not so much in limbo now?
yeah, this is a tough time of year in the northeast isn’t it?
your images is lovely. i like how you can see the writing on the other side, it almost looks like it was whited out, as if this lonely feeling blots out all other feeling.
I forgot to comment on how much I loved your painting from yesterday’s post and now I can add to it the art from today’s!! You are SO talented, god.
Wish I could bring you some fresh baked goodies and we could sit down in front of the woodstove and commune about art and writing– but being the internet and all, I can only wish you good things and that this funk shifts out as quickly as it blew in.
the illustration… so lovely and true.
So many fluctuations in the course of our lives… look at the incredible and striking contrast betwen this post and its image and your previous last and the painting! Sometimes the mind gets clogged with mundane things and it’s hard to get words and images to come out freely. What I see in this image is more than smallness and loneliness; I see it as a baby in the womb, almost ready to be born. I really see these down times as times to gather energy for big things later on…
I can completely relate to how hard it can be to make friends in a new place. It can be very hard…and lead to profound feelings of isolation and sadness or even despair and loneliness. Hope today is better…
What a great little collage - powerful imagery. Love the blue ribbon. Beautiful!
After I became a stay at home Mom I lost touch with all my work friends. I have been searching for more meaningful connections in my life (besides the ones I have with my family) I want Girlfriends, but I don’t want to go deeper with someone just because our children go to the same playgroup. That is why I love the blog world, others like me. Still…I would like to meet someone in the flesh…Love your illustration and your other art work too.
Lovely illustration!
Alina
http://alinanimation.blogspot.com/
Very creative indeed!!
I like that the background area isn’t just plain - gives the entire image some character 
ahh, your photos are lovely. some solace, perhaps?
I love your illustration. The friends thing? It’s just hard. It takes forever to find friends and honestly, I’ve been in my town for five years now and although I’ve made lots of friends and acquaintances and people to do things with, I’m still searching for true heart friends here- even one would more than do. I suppose it’ll come for both of us with time.