The antedote to all my idyllic posts
Posted on | December 7, 2005 |
Tonight I can’t help wishing I had hired cleaning help, a clawfoot bathtub, a bar of chocolate, and a nice glass of merlot. Instead… when the bath drains the toilet makes gurgling noises. We ran out of toilet paper ENTIRELY. Of course I was ON the toilet when I discoverd this. And our house needs so badly Bean managed to eat an entire second dinner off the floor under the table.
I have no idea other mamas pull it off with any grace at all. After just a couple of hours every surface in our tiny apartment is strewn with toys, or objects being rendered as toys (think spatulas, bowls). Actually that is an understatment. What I mean is our apartment went suddenly from livable to kick-it-when-you-try to-walk messy. The laundry is in a heap at the top of the basement stairs, and every counter top is covered with dishes.
In an effort to turn things around I washed dishes for so long my fingers pruned. In the past I’ve tried to be very zen about having to wash dishes by hand: it brings you into the moment, yada, yada, yada. But it doesn’t really. It’s less sanitary and a total waste of time that could otherwise be spent reading Bean a book. You can bet we already have a dishwasher picked out for our new kitchen.
The real trouble though is that DH has the stomach flu, and truly there is nothing nastier. It is so hard for me to take care of someone who is vomiting. I think of all the times as a kid when my mom held the bowl for me to puke into, and I shudder with awe, realizing the lengths mothers go. I suppose I would do the same for Bean in a heartbeat—but I can’t quite feel the same empathy for DH.
I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for myself as he lay on the couch with a low-grade fever clutching his stomach, and I went through the motions of making dinner for Bean, feeding him, cleaning up. To my credit I did manage this more or less to myself, and instead of turning into a total harpie, I proffered ice water and a cool hand. All the while Bean was trying to stand hands free, narrating his progress with a series of high-pitched shreeks, and I kept wondering hell she does it with two little rascals.
There were no catastrophes, really, other than a solid stone rolling pin landing on my foot (clean up from gingerbread cookies I made earlier), but I couldn’t help feeling like I was flailing about in a rising tide. After such lovely days with an extra set of hands, and lots of laughter, it felt really off tonight to be down to just me and Bean. Now everyone’s tucked into bed and for some reason, though it’s earlier than I usually call it quits, I’m totally exhausted.
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18 Responses to “The antedote to all my idyllic posts”
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December 7th, 2005 @ 2:09 am
Jeez, I can understand why. Hope you rise to find a house cleaned by fairies who’ve delivered a vintage clawfoot tub. Short of that, pour yourself a glass of merlot…you’ve earned it.
December 7th, 2005 @ 4:56 am
I know how you feel. While we were visiting my brother and his family my niece and nephew played with Small Boy ALL the time. He was either asleep or being amused. I had only to hang out in the same room and look up from my book once in a while to make sure they weren’t getting too rough-housy with him. Now we’re back in Switzerland, Boy has wicked wicked jetlag, R is back at work and I’m alone with Boy again and I’d sort of forgotten how much energy that requires. I’m now convinced that once they pass five years old, it’s easier to have three children than one. Once they hit five, of course.
In the meantime…merlot. Definitely merlot.
December 7th, 2005 @ 5:02 am
My house is exactly like that minus the sick husband!
Leave the mess and put your feet up, you can have a tidy house when Bean leaves home.
December 7th, 2005 @ 6:48 am
oh been there, been there! Hope DH feels better soon, and I really hope YOU don’t come down with it.
December 7th, 2005 @ 7:55 am
Sorry, but I’ve got dibs on the clawfoot bath I’m afraid.
And yes, once they get to a certain age it’s easier to have multiple children, as they entertain each other. (And you get to sit around drinking dacquiris.)
(Yeah right).
Hope the bugs clear off soon, and you get a break and a merlot. Hang in there!
December 7th, 2005 @ 9:57 am
I know exactly how you feel. I hope hubby feels better soon!
December 7th, 2005 @ 10:32 am
Yeah, handwashing dishes SUCKS I know:\ We’re always behind on them too… on the rare day they’re all done our clear counter is a beautiful sight to behold. The only time my house is truly neat and tidy, let alone clean, is when my husband pitches in. I have totally let housework slide and then when I get a chance to do it there is so much chaos I don’t know what to do, I don’t see what needs to be done. Sorry you’re having a rough time though, hope the week and your husband’s heath improve!
December 7th, 2005 @ 11:25 am
It is so much work to keep things as you want them and make food and take care of your child and your husband and yourself and bring in groceries (with toilet paper!) and and and . . . breathe.
Hopefully yesterday was a an off day— with any luck you woke up this morning and things were feeling back to normal— I’m sory DH is sick– I HATE the flu— so miserable– please don’t catch it . .
December 7th, 2005 @ 11:42 am
Oh girl! I hear you on this one. I always get so pissed off at M when he’s sick, like he did it on purpose just to punish me or something. And I’ve learned to accept mess as a way of keeping me grounded. Wouldn’t want to turn into a snob now, would we? And you made cookies? See, right there is proof you’re a domestic goddess: cookies bakes, husband cared for, baby changed and fed. And not a single house fire! You’ve got mad skillz, yo.
Love to you and drink an extra glass for me!
December 7th, 2005 @ 2:01 pm
You are Superwoman, no doubt about it!
Why are our living spaces so hard to keep up with? And why do we pressure ourselves to keep them clean and tidy at all time? I don’t have children and it gets away from me. I’ve taken to dumping the clean laundry on the bed so I’m forced to put it away and it can’t linger in sad heaps on the couch! I’m learning the little tricks to help it all seem manageable.
But you definitely need a little faerie, perhaps just to help with dusting or keeping Bean entertained. I hope you got some time in the tub, merlot in hand, and that your sweet husband is feeling better.
December 7th, 2005 @ 2:01 pm
and I like this post - non idyllic, yes, but it illuminates you.
December 7th, 2005 @ 2:02 pm
Stay healthy Missy! We can’t have you getting sick again. I’ll come help out if I can have a gingerbread cookie
December 7th, 2005 @ 3:56 pm
a mess is okay. the tide will subside…eventually. and yes, i often wonder how momster does it too.
December 8th, 2005 @ 12:31 am
Whew baby, have I been there. The hubs worked past bedtime the last two nights and then called tonight to say there was some obligation until 7 pm. I made him do the dishes to make it up to me. And don’t even get me started on sick husbands…
And although I love everything you write, I appreciate that you shared this less polished, less idyllic post with us. I was beginning to think you had all your shit together, and, really, who wants friends like that?
Cheers!
December 8th, 2005 @ 1:16 am
oh, i can’t believe that on top of everything the darn rolling pin fell and landed on your foot!-I would have gone berzerk! Sometimes it’s the littlest things that seemed to be the most over whelming at times-I hope your husband starts to feel well soon and things get back to normal-in the mean time-go put your foot up with a nice glass of Merlot-
ooh, maybe I will too…
December 8th, 2005 @ 10:52 pm
Oh man, I double feel your pain. My husband was so sick last week, groaning and taking Nyquil. And he usually does more than half the housework and half the baby work, and I felt so bereft and horribly responsible. Then this week he had an out-of-town meeting for 2 days, and the exact same thing happened to my house. It seemed like within an hour I’d covered every floor & surface with toys and gear and crap. It seems I can use every dish in the house to make a glass of Coke. I hope the sickness has passed for you…
December 10th, 2005 @ 10:13 am
Oh I know these days well. I have a feeling I have one coming up today- We’re having a Christmas party tonight, the in-laws are here and the house is soooo not ready…
December 10th, 2005 @ 11:07 am
oh what a day. hope things are better now. it’s tough doing it all, believe me i know. just take care of yourself so you don’t get the bug, too!