Harbingers of change
The finches flutter across the canvass like my heart: hopeful, but not yet at rest. How can it be that the shortest month lasts so long?
Like an x-ray, February exposes all the weak and tangled underpinnings of our lives. On every patch of muddy grass between the sidewalk and the curb I notice trash. Glass shards and rustling plastic bags, empty paper cups, bottle caps, cigarettes. In my own life, all the fragments, the torn bits, the shaky scaffolding seems to surface now too, and I catch myself wanting to pick everything apart.
Each day this month I have longed for softer edges, for green and sap and lingering daylight. Each day the tight wince of cold still seems to force its way in, making things complicated (the added annoyance of mittens for Bean who wriggles and wails every time we put them on.) Each day there has been some sort of friction, and it takes courage to push through right now, trusting that things won’t fall irreparably apart.
DH and I are both spread thin, and in our lesser moments berate each other for the things we know neither of us can control. So it is a matter of intention now, in these last few weeks before the weather turns, to share joy. To play, to linger in each other’s arms, to carve out time for family amidst the all-consuming renovations.
So today we went to the park. Bean’s first time ever down a slide or up into the air on a swing outdoors. A hundred brand new smiles; giggles on the slide. Our grown up selves remembering the wild gravity-less arc of the swing set. It was still cold out, but warm enough to go bare handed. The ground was thawing. We could smell it’s earthy fragrance from the swings.
So we laughed a lot today, and I feel better. And when I started to look , I could see evidence of spring everywhere. Like a promise, the crocuses have sent their first green shoots up above the ground. New buds are swelling from the maples by the wall; ice no longer on the lake.
Painting, Thoughts & observations |28 Responses to “Harbingers of change”
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I utterly love your bird painting. I’m all about birds lately, collecting nests and things with wings. Do you sell your prints anywhere online like etsy? You certainly should!
Jys
This is so beautiful it took my breath away. We are so far from spring here and thinking about the bright colors of returning birds are warming thoughts.
Beautiful painting. It made me wish I could paint like that! Amazing. As for the restlessness, maybe it is part of the season. My husband and I have been quite restless and impatient lately.
The goldfinches trancend the shadowy landscape, not unlike the way your prose illuminates the mundane. But I also enjoy imagining them in flight against a busy winter cityscape. Beautiful.
i love the texture in the background of your painting.
the various shades of yellows within the goldfinches are so illuminating.
your day at the park sounds dreamy~surreal.
a day with a thousand smiles is a day to cherish.
I am in love with your painting! You are an amazing artist, and writer. I will be back!
The flight pattern across the somber, smoldering background is like the trip across the last bits of winter. These finches are so perfectly done…I most definitely did a little “ooooh” when I saw the finished piece. Spring will be glorious in all ways when it finally comes!
I love your winging darling birds, and your laughing darling son! I wonder too about the length of the so-called shortest month…still a few days to go, but I can see spring from here, I can!
Great post.
I share your feeling of this month being so long.. a very difficult month for me too. Especially this week, feeling fluish and bored with work and everything in my life; I feel like I have fallen on the bottom of a dark pit. I feel I can’t write or create.
Feeling like this scares me so much because my history with recurrent bouts of depression. But I also know I can get through anything.
I was just on a walk outside, and it really was spring here too. I feel so much better today.
Hugs, e.
P.S. The painting is beautiful.
I love the way the painting turned out! The color of the finches against the background is lovely and their flight pattern makes me think they are bringing the spring with them.
I don’t know why this year, but this year, I have never wanted spring to come as much as I do. It hasn’t been particularly cold but it’s dragging.
Hurray for being outdoors at the playground! As long as it’s 40 degrees, we go to the playground.
It was ever so interesting to see this painting take shape; those birds are so bright against the wintery grey. Wonderful.
the painting?
beautiful.
i could send you some war pictures
of what we lived in renovation-wise
close to this time last year…
a gutted house
while having two children of my own
and looking after 3 other children…
bahahahah…
not trying to out-do
but rather to give hope…
i’m glad you are feeling better
and that spring is coming
(or so i keep telling myself)
The painting turned out fabulous!
First of all, I love the finches! And those smiles…makes a gal wanna go find a swing! (Come to think of it, there might be one around the corner.)
Beautifully expressed post, Christina. Maybe that’s part of what I’ve been feeling these past few weeks…maybe it’s partly just FEBRUARY. It’s been years since I lived through “winter” (I have to put it in quotes because for god’s sake, it’s a Sacramento Valley one, not a REAL one!)…but still, it’s made me feel all slow creaky…and not just physically…
I love your golden finches, and your playground adventure. It made me laugh, seeing DH on the twisty slide! So good that y’all got out and played. And your pink pants are so cute!
And how can a month so short FEEL so long? Your glimpses of the coming spring are full of hope - hang in there.
I just want to know when in the world you have time to paint?
I know I said I love this painting as is, without the birds, but now that I see the birds… I love them. You are so talented. Off to look at the pictures from the park!
yes february…it’s that month that lingers in winter and yet reveals the upcoming spring too. it’s a hard month because my heart starts longing for spring, for growth, for rebirth, for green…and february is such a tease.
I long for spring too. I like to keep track of the movement of spring across the land. I wrote about it in a blog entry recently http://artsymama.blogspot.com/2006/02/phenology-and-watching.html
I love to hear about what’s happening in different areas of the country…of the world. Sounds like spring is coming sooner to you than up north here in Minnesota. Loved this post!
Get used to those swings. You’ll be seeing them a lot!
A hundred brand new smiles…this touched me so much. I can just imagine the joy of discovering new sources of happiness with your child.
and your painting. christina - you inspire me so much. i miss the goldfinches that were everywhere in indiana. we have them out here in washington, but i have only seen one. i love those little bright yellow guys.
Your writing is such a visual experience for me. And emotional too. I can remember feeling the same constraints when my children were little and we were renovating a house. January used to be for me what February is for you. It wasn’t cold and snowy, but was bone chilling damp and rainy.
The painting has such a joyful message of the promise of more colorful days.
Thank you for brightening my day
I love this post, as I have loved all the others. Rather than gush over you like I always do cuz I love your work/blog/thoughts/etc, I urge you to answer the questions I have left for you at my blog - the post will sit there all weekend unless something else captures my interest enough to post. Oh and this is not spamming your blog for readers. No one els eis allowed to go there but you. Ha. Kidding, MT readers, kidding.
Karen
o my. i just adore those finches. great work christina!
lovely birds… lovely thought.
february gets me down too, but tonight with the powdered snow covering all of the messy mud, i feel like i can manage another month of new england weather.
thanks for sharing your beautiful birds.
the moment your baby is old enough to enjoy the park… tis a wonderful WONDERFUL moment. and even better? you get to experience the park all over again through the eyes of your child… and it is soooo fun (which you’ve already gotten a taste of, yes?)
yay for park-going and swings and slides and climbing! yay, I say!
(loving the finches here too)
this can be such a tough time of year. winter suddenly feels long, and spring inches closer day by day yet is still so far away. you picked the best remedy for winter blues — have a little fun!
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