Finding the beat
Last week I was like a satellite thrown out of orbit, twirling in crazy loops from all the scrambled sleep, and the on-edge waiting. I let myself slip haphazardly out of my routine of writing mornings, first thing while the house is still sighing in its sleep.
I’d hear the alarm, and peer at it through mostly closed lashes and then hit the snooze button with vigor, before turning to inhale the sweet sleeping scent of my boys, pressed at odd angles to each other. Light would slip softly through the wooden slats of the window shades, zebra-striping the sienna paint on our wall with gold, and mourning doves would gather below the feeder outside and coo like a clutch of kerchief clad old biddies waiting for a bakery to open.
I’d get up, staggering. If I was lucky they’d both stay asleep while I showered and made coffee, and I’d pocket those moments of silence like a thief. But I found myself missing the routine; the rhythm of bowing down first at the page, each new day.
Instead of writing, I carved some time out on the treadmill at the gym everyday last week (the weather too cold until today to be outdoors.) In doing so I began to remember this about myself: moving, running, doing, is anther way to bow down at the door of all that is good in my life.
Moving, one foot and then the other, in a steady rhythm, feeling my lungs and heart send bright red blood circling through capillaries makes me feel immediately at right with my life, with the twirling stars, with the sap running, with my all my hopes. Now, to do both: to run and to write. This is my goal this week.
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I’ll totally post the running mix! Just have to get back on DH’s computer—tomorrow, maybe?
In the meantime, tell me, what few things do you find you really need to do every day to feel whole (even if you don’t always get to do them.)
Running, The way I operate, Daily Photo |25 Responses to “Finding the beat”
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To feel whole? I need to read, to connect with words on a page; I do this every night without exception. I need to hold the people I love, my husband, my two children. Much more than that is truly excess. The immediate family and the written word provide food for the soul and mind.
The thing that’s missing for me is exercise . . . the physical. I know I’ll get there. It’s a question of when and how.
Yoga always gives me that whole feeling I crave but I haven’t figured out a way to make it an everyday thing yet, soon? Also writing and some sort, really any sort, of creative release…it also helps to have at least one real conversation with my husband where we both actually connect with the other…that is a good feeling.
For me to feel whole I need to read. I need to find comfort in words that inspire me,or for a brief moment - take me away.
Lovely
I need to see sunshine and be in it, at least momentarily. I need to read, even if it’s just a chapter. I need to hug and kiss my children, and I need my husband to tell me he loves me at the end of the day. I need to laugh at something, write something, have a goal for each day even if it’s something as simple or silly as sleeping in. 
i need to knit at least one or two rows.
I need to be outside with my dog getting exercise. In St. Paul, MN, this usually means a walk past the cathedral and down the main wide walking avenue with its parading victorian homes. We stop at the tennis courts and run in circles together. Morning or night, it dosn’t matter, but the quietness of us knowing each other and moving together in the fresh air is what I need every day.
I try to use the Porter’s nap time as my “lunch hour.” Back when I used to work I always made sure my lunch hour was MINE. I find that I need that time now, considering (let’s face it) the day doesn’t end until about 9:30pm after dinner, cleaning up, bath, and little one is in bed. So during his nap time I don’t wash dishes, don’t clean, or anything else domestic - unless I feel like it. Usually I read blogs, read a book, and lately plant flowers. It is much needed and I REVEL in it!
For me it’s got to be a cup of strong black tea first thing in the morning. And I need to walk, the rhythm of the stride calms my mind.
1. A cup of tea and breakfast
2. Shower
3. Some time reading what I WANT to read (as a literature teacher there is an awful lot of time spent reading OTHER stuff)
4. A hug from anybody
scrapbooK!
write in a journal!
tara
Emilio said to me last night that he wishes that he could centrifuge his life–separate out all of the 7 months of work, 3 months of sleep, 1 month of eating and 1 month of whatever and just do it all in a big chunk. Sometimes I feel like that, as though if I could just have 2 devoted weeks of sitting in a library working solidly on one project, one piece, then everything in the world would be right. HA!! So reality is that I need 8 hrs of work, 9 hrs of sleep, coffee,coleslaw, cheese, climbing and laughter to get me through a day.
I’ve always joked that I have to read something everyday, or else I go a little crazy. I do need to read, and to talk and connect with a friend each day. I usually chat with my dearest friends while I drive to and from work, so it works out.
I’m also realizing how much I need time with my husband. I’ve done without him a lot because of his job schedule (and vice versa) and it’s helped us realize how absolutely essential the everyday, ordinary moments are, how much we miss them, how this schedule really won’t work for a kid. It’s a good thing to figure out now rather than later.
I need to read, to write/journal, I need to chat with an adult (you would be surprised how often that DOES NOT happen for a stay at home mom), and I need to be outside in the sunshine. And luckily, my long winter is ending, so I will be getting my wish on that last.
What a beautifully written post, by the way, but I always think that!
snuggles in the crook of my husbands arm. Art. Good food.
hmm, a day that makes me feel complete: a good dose of sunshine, a cup of hot tea, and a fraction of the day spent in solitude, either in the art studio or on the yoga mat, time just for me to recharge and refresh.
I got this idea from keri smith - http://www.kerismith.com/blog/archives/000201.html - five from my list:
1. learn something new
2. laugh out loud
3. pay attention to the view outside my window
4. tell marc, katie and sara that i love them
5. say thank you
[…] ho knows — really knows that Real Moms need art and beauty to be effective Moms. And Christine a Mom who is an artist with words. And because I break all the rules — here& […]
Art and exercise, but it is often a struggle to get one or the other, let alone both. For exercise, I prefer to walk at sunrise along the ocean cliffs near my home. I’m never sure if it is the exercise that does me good, the sun on my face, the ocean air, or the combination. But if I take my morning walk regularly, I feel good.
I’ve been thinking about your question since yesterday, and I realized today that I need time alone each day. A couple of years ago I took a Meyers-Briggs Personality profile and learned that being introverted is my strongest characteristic! I had never realized how much energy I get from time alone, enjoying the day and reflecting on my life. What a joy!
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Hi…Man i love reading your blog, interesting posts ! it was a great Monday
Hello…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Tuesday
Hello…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Wednesday