{my topography}

Noticing colors, and a list

Tomorrow is my last day of school for the year! I’m so thrilled, I’ll even go hobnob with my colleagues at the local watering hole, though that typically isn’t my thing. I’m so ready for weeks on end of writing time and Bean time and garden time. I’ve been operating like a jigsaw puzzle, pieces tumbling about inside the cardboard box. I’m ready to fit things back together again.

Tonight a sunny cafe dinner with just Bean. Watching ‘big rigs’ and trucks drive by; slurping fresh tomato basil soup from a wide silver spoon. Then sharing an ice cream cone and watching him zip static-headed and grinning down the slide at the playground again and again.

Armloads of peonies. Such a heady, delicate scent. Pure decadance.

A stomach full of butterflies about the impending workshop; but also: a week of sleep and open beaches and new possibilities and time to write.

And I’m sorry I’ve become one of those bloggers–so irregular with my posts you barely want to stop by. I can hardly wait to come here regularly {I have a dozen GREAT posts all written in my head, I swear!} and share and rant and follow my whimsy.

Four paragraphs & four things beginning with “A”

A full day back at the classroom. They greet me with eager smiles and two-page weekend news letters in ever more confidant print. They use capitals and periods and I challenged them to write about what they felt, saw and said. One little boy wrote, I could feel the wind and I said to J, “Can you feel the wind?” and he said back to me, “Yes I can,” as we biked down the hill. Such sweeties they are, though they seek to wring every ounce of energy and attention from me. If they learned one thing this year, they learned to be kick-ass writers

A parent share tomorrow, to celebrate the kid’s final writing projects. Books they’ve planned from storyboard to final hard-cover hand sewn copy. Their smiles and their bright pictures and eccentric text placement is something I’ve been wanting to photograph for a while, so I’m bringing my camera! I miss mixing my life more: art and teaching and writing. I like when it overlaps.

At home, before dinner, we got the chicken coop floor framed out, Bean following after us with a hammer—using it with flawless form. The sun angled long, and for dinner we had flat bread pizza. It’s been the third night in a row Bean has gone to sleep super tired by 8, without much cajoling, and slept through the night in his bed until 6 in the morning, when he patters his way into our room. I cannot tell you how utterly thrilled I am about this. I don’t want to jinx it of course.

And a few more paragraphs tonight. Up to ten pages. The story seems to be fitting together in unexpected ways, as though all the jigsaw pieces are speckled with Rorschach prints. I’m just following along, seeing what I recognize and going with what feels right.

And four things I’m enjoying that start with A:

Azaleas blooming along the back wall of my house, unexpected.
Antinori Vermentino wine: delish with sausages and crusty bread.
Aching muscles from hard work.
Animal, Vegitable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver

Thinking Blogger Awards–Meme & Happy Easter

Blue folds quietly around the house, like dye adhering gradually to the fragile white shells of eggs. Snow is falling, still, again, and it makes me sad. I’m longing for spring, longing for raw green, for delicate petals, for grass. I’m moody tonight, tired after a day of dying easter eggs, making tiki masala with friends for dinner, and finding out that my best friend is moving to freaking Sacramento. One of those all-out weekends, of laughter and over-extending. Hunting for brightly colored plastic ovals in the stubble of grass and snow in a friend’s back yard; fighting with Bean about naps after too many jelly beans and too much excitement; and feeling out of synch with the calendar this year. Now I’m curled into the rumpled cushions of the couch, with the symphony of the dishwasher whirring up around me, and the cats pacing across warm floors.

But, instead of moping, I’ve been tagged (twice) with a cool meme. The Thinking Blogger Awards. My votes go to:

Sunday School Rebel–because her poems are THAT good, because she talks to god, and because I wish we lived next door.

Le Petit Hiboux–because she’s written 20,000 words for a novel, and is pursuing the wild, illusive profession I’m terrified to take up: full time writer.

Rosa Murillo–because her found art pies are relics of pure inspiration, and the universe must be smiling because of all her beautiful gifts.

La Vie En Rose–because her contemplative poems and her exquisite photos and her generous spirit are always make me pause.

Running Mix

Back to the gym this week, after a week off feeling sickish. It’s still mud season here, and still cold, but my sister is luring me westward for a half marathon this summer… and some tiathlons closer to home are looking better and better, especially since the wicked spinning class I took last week that reminded me of how much I love to ride.

Enjoy the mix, and yes, I know, most of it is totally 80’s throwback music. But listen to it while you’re running a 5k. It works, trust me.

Saturday list

* Croissants, fresh strawberries, vanilla yogurt, lattes.

* A trip to the store for rain boots.

* Grocery shopping (”Bean drive OWN CAR,” he says, earnestly. And so we push around those awful, cumbersome, rediculous plastic car/carts. He loves every minute.)

* Teething, and a struggle to go to sleep at nap time. Finally we went for a walk with Bean in the running stroller (think MUD on the roads) and he was asleep in less than a minute.

* A teeny-tiny circus, just down the road. (Such a long post coming on that tomorrow!)

* Lasange, garlic bread, wine and chocolate cake with friends while the kids chased the cats, and shared sippy cups.

* Making the perfect running mix. (Leave a comment if you want the titles! I’m into goofy, fast paced, 80s inspired stuff when I run. Anything to keep my feet moving!)

* And delight, of all delights: my iPod and book were found and returned! Thanks for all the positive comments on that one. I seriously think you helped balance the universe in my favor. Now, just keep your good thoughts dancing my way re: grad school. They say I won’t necessarily be notivied until mid April.

More up down

So I’m going with the co-sleeping-ish arrangement for now. Which is what we’ve been doing, and it works fine except for when he’s ansy and can’t lie still and insists on holding my cheek pressed against his cheek, and howling “Mama TURN OVER” when I roll the other way. But. So. Well. We’ll keep trying because it seems that’s the only thing we can do, seeing as we adore the pants of him as it is.

Other things:

I had a great hair day today. I never have good hair days, and today, all sorts of perfect luscious shine and bounce and complements.

It’s 40 degrees out right now, at night, which is almost unbelievable, as it hasn’t been this warm (yes, WARM) in oh, five months.

We had tacos for dinner. I love tacos. I grew up in California. Mexican food always makes me smile.

And… PLUMS are back in stores around here, which means somewhere, they’re in season right now.

But:

I left my ipod and my beloved Eat Love Pray book at the gym tonight, parked on top of one of the lockers, and when I called a few hours later, they didn’t find it. I’m going to assume the positive–that it was placed somewhere for safekeeping and that I’ll get it back tomorrow. But if not, who would steal a book? An ipod, well, at least it has value. But my book? All underlined and happily dog-eared, and not half read?

The good & the not so much

Feeling tiredness crowd me like breathy people on a commuter train, I write a few scattered sentences and prepare for bed. The house is humming: the heat turning on, DH playing guitar, the low moan of the wind pulling around the northern corner. I feel snug tonight. Impatient still, with no answer yet, but content because I ran four miles today, watching my lanky legs in the mirror to work on form. God, I look like a gorilla on stilts. I throw my left foot out at a funny angle, it seems; which explains why I always have a splotch of mud on my right calf after every run. I kick myself. What’s left to write after writing that? But the running felt good. I kept a nice 9:30 mile pace and felt my lungs expanding easily. At the end I was grinning, inadvertently.

Other things I’m thrilled about tonight:

* The gorgeous Sam of Sunday School Rebel is having a BOY! Clearly, I’m partial here.

* I’ve started reading Eat, Pray, Love and was pulled right in. I love books that do that to you. Her writing has a conversational tone, tender and honest, like she’s talking to you over tea.

* DH gave me a new laptop yesterday. There it was on the counter when I came home, in it’s snug little box. It’s so pretty and sleek and utterly functional that I can hardly contain my glee. And it doesn’t have a fubar every five seconds like my old one was apt to do (the fan sounded like a jet plane, and the power adapter port only worked every OTHER second. GAH!)

Things I am not thrilled about:

* The fact that still, every night, Bean has been waking up and wailing and insisting on going to bed in “mommy and daddy’s bed” or being rocked for eons. It’s wearing me thin. I want him to sleep through the night, happily, in his own room. Here are the things I know: he’s definitely cutting his last incisor right now, and his nose is all stuffed up. But really—does that warrant this? I’d love advice… (Know, we can’t for various reasons bring ourselves to be of the “cry it out” camp, including among other more important reasons, that his cries make it impossible to sleep. And also, how can you NOT go, when he calls, “Mama, Daddy, where ARE you? Need HELP. Need a HUG.”)

Do I just ride this out and tell everyone that raccoon eyes are the new thing? Or is there some strategy I’m overlooking?

Things I’m excited about, and a small piece of art

* New plants: a tall potted palm for the bedroom, and a delicate fern for downstairs by the kitchen sink.

* Running every day this week except for Monday, and sleeping better at night because of it.

* Starting a half-marathon training program–mid May-ish is the date for several possible runs. Loving the focus a tangible goal provides.

* The earlier daylight savings time this year (this Sunday!) and making plans to spend time in the sun.

* Having a piece accepted for publication in a magazine you can buy at Barnes & Noble. (WHOOhoo!)

Delight

Today I was going through my notebooks and I found this page from last spring. It got me to thinking about the small things that make me smile, right now, no matter what. These are good things to think of. Little things, that pull me into the present, into an immediate experience of pleasure. Here’s my list for today. What is yours?

Small things I’m grateful for.

A flock of clouds, their underbellies pink and gold, just before sunset.

Running hard at the gym, just over 8 minute miles.

Doing 25 push ups in a row.

Rearranging furniture in my classroom, so the sun slants just so in the morning and the picture books are easier to browse through.

Getting a note from a kid saying, “Thanks for being my teacher, I love you”

Passing the two shaggy horses on our road, and seeing their breath rise up in the cold air.

Bean saying yes now instead of just no.

Reading short stories (because when is there time for long ones, lately?)

Mysterious birthday plans for the weekend.

Painting small pictures every day.