a bumpy start
I woke up with a crazy tension headache: the kind that makes everything seem like it the world should be painted in shades of pale blue. Made mint tea and sugar toast, and still I felt like crying.
The sun is out this morning though the ground is soft from too much rain. I am trying, […]
roots
Yesterday the moon looked like a copper penny in the sky, red and low against the dark mountains, clouds clinging to its craters. Today it rained. All day; the kind of steady rain that makes you think Biblically, the Ark suddenly making sense.
It was the kind of rain that made me loose all resolve […]
You know you’re pregnant when…
Your three year old gently pats your chest and asks, “Are dees bigger mama?”
True story.
It’s only the beginning
I’ve grown accustomed to being hunched over. Hunched, as in, knees up, back rounded, almost fetal. This is the way I spend my day, curled on the couch, attached at the hip to my laptop, mostly, between tentative forays into the kitchen, and occasional attempts to be useful in any way. It isn’t pretty. Remember […]
flitter
I spend much of the day curled like a cat, now, dozing. My dreams are surreal and technicolored and sexy. My stomach is in a constant state of upheaval, the word nausea hardly encompasses the scope of queasy that I feel. It is a perpetual all day thing, indigestion, bloating, every single food suspect.
I […]
The unexpected
The unexpected is what happens when you’re looking up at the sky and thinking about glazed doughnuts and life is generally good. The unexpected is a little tear in the fabric of the way things are, so small at first you hardly notice, and then you’ve got a run the size of the Nile going […]
Protected: growing pains
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Right now, right here
At school, the days are spiraling down. We make space mud and go outside for extra recess where I sit on the grass and they crowd around me, suddenly towering tall, every single one yelling for my attention. “Teacher! Teacher! Look at this!” “Teacher can we race?” “Teacher! Watch me!”
I close my eyes and […]
Hating the way I feel right now
It’s completely kicking my butt, this parenting thing. Right now, I feel like a crappy mom. I wonder how on earth I could ever, really, be the parent to two kids when this one is driving me bananas.
He’s three, and that has made everything more complicated. And tonight bedtime was a crappy overblown push-pull […]
It figures…
…that the day I’ve set aside (taking full advantage of it being Mother’s Day so I can totally claim several back to back hours) for finishing up my two manuscripts (which incidentally are DUE tonight) is GLORIOUS.
Apple blossoms, a perfect breeze, seedlings to plant in the garden. Sigh. And here I am in my […]